February 27, 2003
Introduction:
I hope you enjoyed the first issue of the My-Therapist Newsletter and
return to www.mytherapistnc.org soon. This issue has a great new feature article
and some HOT new recommended websites. Make sure to check them out!
With Valentine’s Day behind us I trust that everyone is continuing to express
their love to one another and not just saving it up for next Valentine’s Day. Am
I right? If not, why not start now. Start making a difference in your
relationships right now! There are so many ways to make your partner feel
special and let them know you appreciate them. Why should it be saved all for
one day of the year? You can do this everyday and make your relationship
stronger and be more intimate with your partner NOW!
Some may ask, “How do I do this?” Here are a few tips. Start by doing
something special for your partner that you know he/she likes. For example,
making them their favorite foods or bringing them the paper in bed. Try doing
this without pointing it out to your partner. Simply do it because you know it
is something he/she will like.
Another idea is to offer your partner some help by relieving them of some of
their responsibilities even if it’s only for fifteen minutes. Some ideas are
watching the kids while he/she takes a few minutes to relax or watch a favorite
TV show or running an errand for him/her to free up some time on the weekend.
The most important thing is that you try to make a change in your life
everyday, even if it’s a small change. Create the life you’ve always wanted.
It’s up to you to start making a small change… a BIG difference.
In this issue of the My-Therapist newsletter you’ll find valuable
information and resources, including a feature article about Spirituality in
Marriage and Family Therapy. For more information always return to
www.mytherapistnc.org.
See you there soon.
Carole
Table of Contents
- Feature Article
- What’s new at My-Therapist!
- Recommended Book of the Month
- Coming in future issues!
- Recommended sites
1. Feature Article
Spirituality in Marriage & Family
Therapy
The great malady of the twentieth century, implicated in all of our troubles
and affecting us individually and socially, is “loss of soul.” When soul is
neglected, it doesn’t just go away; it appears symptomatically in obsessions,
addictions, violence, and loss of meaning. - Thomas Moore
Recently, in various mental health professions there has been an increase in
interest regarding the integration of spirituality, religion and clinical
practice. On the shelves in bookstores you can find an increase of literature
available that has shifted focus towards this new controversial topic –
spirituality and therapy. So what are the benefits and/or necessity of
reintegrating mind/body with spirit/soul?
Historically, there was not a clear distinction between the psychological and
spiritual. The mental health profession began with less of a distinction between
the spirits and mental illness and often patients that exhibited schizophrenia
were considered possessed by spirits.
More recently, we have left the issues related to spirituality in the hands
of religion, and the intellectual in the hands of the physicians and teachers.
In an effort to change this dualistic view, many mental health professionals are
urging clinicians to conceptualize persons as bio-psycho-social-spiritual
beings. What this view offers to a therapist is the option to expand their view
and see their clients as individuals with many different layers.
When a therapist ignores their clients’ spiritual beliefs they are ignoring
an important assessment tool. If spirituality can be useful as a tool in therapy
clients will then be able to openly express issues in areas that otherwise would
be overlooked. Thomas Moore believes that psychology is incomplete if it doesn’t
include spirituality and art in a fully integrative way.
So are all these mental health professionals headed in the wrong direction?
Not according to a survey by Stewart & Gale (1994) where the majority of clients
(66%) prefer a therapist with spiritual values; and an even greater percentage
(81%) desire a therapist who would enable them to integrate their values and
beliefs in therapy.
So what is soul/spirituality? How do we find it? Where is it hiding? Is there
a need for it in therapy? Soul/Spirituality has been described in different ways
and differently over time. However, all of these different definitions seem to
have a common theme. All of these theories describe spirituality and soul as a
way of experiencing everyday life and placing meaning to events and things in
our lives that we might ordinarily overlook. Spirituality is a way of living and
a way of seeing life.
In addition to the individual soul, what about the soul of a family? What
does it mean when we say a family has a life of its own? Are we implying a
communal soul? A communal soul gives a family unity and direction and offers
love, support, and a sense of identity. Families are presented to the public as
a place where traditions are upheld and the soul is created and nurtured. We
expect that the family will provide us with love and direction. We also expect
this love to be healing and whole.
The traditional image of the family only serves to protect us from the
reality that family can sometimes be a comforting and, at the same time,
devastating place. Families are always so concerned with how to succeed and
overcome family problems. However, if we can learn to honor the family as it
presents itself, with all of it’s paths that seem to have a direction of their
own, only then can we begin to understand what it means to find the soul of the
family.
So is it vital to incorporate soul/spirituality in family therapy? I don’t
think a therapist can work with a client/family without it. A shift in our view
of the family is in order. To recover the soul/spirituality of an individual or
family, I believe we need to stop trying to fix it or become free of the
problems associated with it, but instead look deeply at our daily experiences
and live and feel every moment. When we try to avoid our experiences or troubles
they reappear in our lives as symptoms of illness, emptiness, aggression etc.
Through family therapy and the integration of soul/spirituality, the essence of
soul can be recaptured. The tradition of family can be upheld and we can again
expect the family to provide us with love and direction that can be healing and
whole.
References and Resources
Abbott, D., Berry, M.m & Meredith, W. (1990). Religious belief and practice:
A potential asset in helping families. Family Relations, 39, 443-448.
Anderson, H. (1994). The recovery of the soul. In B. Childs & D. Waanders
(Eds.), The treasure in earthen vessels: Explorations in theological
anthropology (pp. 208-223). Louisville, KY: Westminster Press/John Knox Press.
Anderson, H. (1999). Feet planted firmly in midair: A spirituality for family
living. In F. Walsh (Ed.), Spiritual Resources in Family Therapy (pp. 157-177).
New York: The Guilford Press.
Anderson, D., & Worthen, D. (1997). Exploring a fourth dimension:
Spirituality as a resource for the couple therapist. Journal of Marital and
Family Therapy, 23, 3-12.
Antonovsky, A. (1987). Unraveling the mystery of health. San Fransisco: Jossy-Bass.
Aponte, H. (1999). The stresses of poverty and the comfort of Spirituality.
In F. Walsh (Ed.), Spiritual Resources in Family Therapy (pp. 61-75). New York:
The Guilford Press.
Bergin, A. (1991). Values and religious issues in psychotherapy and mental
health. American Psychologist, 46, 394-403.
Doherty, W. (1999). Morality and spirituality in therapy. In F. Walsh (Ed.),
Spiritual Resources in Family Therapy (pp. 179-192). New York: The Guilford
Press.
Dombeck, M. & Karl, J. (1987). Spiritual Issues in mental health. Journal of
Religion and Health, 26(3), 183-197.
Ellison, C. & Levin, J. (1998). The religion-health connection: Evidence,
theory, and future directions. Health Education and Behavior, 25, 700-720.
Gallup, G. (1994). Religion in America: 1994, Supplement. Princeton, NJ: The
Gallup Organization, Inc.
Klass, D. (1995). Spiritual aspects of the resolution of grief. In H. Wass &
R.A. Neimeyer (Eds.), Dying: Facing the facts (pp. 243-268). Washington, DC:
Taylor & Francis.
Marrone, R. (1997). Death, mourning and caring. Pacific Grove, CA:
Brooks/Cole/Wadsworth.
Marrone, R. (1999). Dying, Mourning, and Spirituality: A Psychological
Perspective. Death Studies, 23, 495-519.
Montalvo, B., & Gutierrez, M. (1990). Nine assumptions for work with ethnic
minority families. In G.W. Saba, B.M. Karrer, & K.V. Hardy (Eds.), Minorities
and family therapy (pp. 35-52). New York: Haworth Press.
Moore, T. (1992). Care of the Soul: A Guide for Cultivating Depth and
Sacredness in Everyday Life. New York: HarperPerennial.
Patterson, R. (1994, June). Learning from suffering. Family Therapy News, pp.
11-12.
Roberts, J. (1999). Heart and soul: Spirituality, religion, and rituals in
family therapy training. In F. Walsh (Ed.), Spiritual Resources in Family
Therapy (pp. 61-75). New York: The Guilford Press.
Schell, B. (1992). Elements of couple psychotherapy and awakening. In B. J.
Brothers (Ed.), Spirituality and Couples (pp. 65-76). New York: Hawthorne Press.
Stewart, S. & Gale, J. (1994). On Hallowed ground: marital therapy with
couples on the religious right. Journal of Systemic Therapies, 13, 16-25.
Turbott, J. (1996). Religion, spirituality, and psychiatry; conceptual,
cultural, and personal challenges. Australian and New Zealand Journal of
Psychiatry, 30, 720-727.
Walsh, F. (1999). Religion & spirituality: Wellsprings for healing and
resilience. In F. Walsh (Ed.), Spiritual Resources in Family Therapy (pp. 3-27).
New York: The Guilford Press.
Walsh, F. (1999). Opening family therapy to spirituality. In F. Walsh (Ed.),
Spiritual Resources in Family Therapy (pp. 28-58). New York: The Guilford Press.
Walsh, F., & McGoldrick, M. (1991). Living beyond loss: Death in the family.
New York: Norton.
Wright, L., Watson, W., & Bell, J. (1996). Beliefs: The heart of healing in
families and illness. New York: Basic Books.
Wright, L. (1999). Spirituality, Suffering, and beliefs. In F. Walsh (Ed.),
Spiritual Resources in Family Therapy (pp. 61-75). New York: The Guilford Press.
2. What’s new at My-Therapist!
Groups & Workshops
Groups are
running now!
Register early at
mytherapistnc.org
3. Recommended Book of the Month
The Sex-Starved Marriage: The Couple's Guide to Understanding Mismatched
Sexual Desire and Boosting Their Marriage Libido by Michele Weiner-Davis
4. Coming in future issues!
- Feature Article
- Book of the Month
- New Groups and Workshops
5. Recommended sites
Check them out at:
Nothingbutcrums.com – Need a
great gift or just want to send someone something special. Then try the cookies
at Nothingbutcrumbs.com. They are AMAZING!
Selfgrowth.com - Resources for
self-improvement and personal growth.
NaturalHealthWeb.com - The
Quick and Easy Guide to Natural Health and Alternative Medicine
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